Okay here goes nothing… I can’t talk to you face to face about it right now because… I don’t know…I just can’t and you decided to write about it on a blog (I know I was the one who did that first xD) so I will just post this here just in case you will ever look through my page and find it… and I wish you would.. I love you… I still do… and it’s like it was in the beginning or even stronger.. you shown me that some things are forever… that our love was stronger than the hate I caused when I hurt you… I realized I done you wrong but it wasn’t because he meant more to me than you did...he never did…it was because I took your love for granted…I never even thought you could ever hate me…I hoped you could get over it and everything would be okay and all that…and I know I was stupid..  Now I realize how crappy life can be without you…and I need you in my life… I never met anyone like you and I am sure I never will… you can read my thoughts, you know how I feel by the way I say “hello”…you know that when I say “yes” it’s not always right and when I say “no” I sometimes wish I said yes… And I also got used to everything about you…the way you walk, talk, giggle, laugh, malefic laugh, hold my hand, hug me…the way you look at me and know what I want to say…your room, your hair, your lovely voice, your dog, even the old bubble gum you stuck to the back of your bed…your posters even though you tore apart the ones I gave you first…but I don’t blame you…your cute (sometimes porn) drawings, the quotes all over your furniture …your lazy laptop…your whole life style… the milk and coffee you make, the sandwiches, all that chocolate :D...the alcohol and smoke and everything that comes with it… the anime, manga and stories you make me watch or read or you read to me… the nights we spent together… the friends with benefits stuff… the music that you love and I sometimes don’t.. the music we both love… the things that make us so alike and still so different… I saw in you more than you can imagine… I loved the way you saw things because you had a personality and I felt like I never had one… you were sometimes mean or lazy or careless but not with me… and you never cared about the world but you always cared what I thought… and I never felt so heard… You shouldn’t blame yourself for not showing me how much you cared because I didn’t show you that either… and you sometimes needed me, but I didn’t know how to react… I need time to figure out nice things to say to people xD… and I know that hurt you… I’m sorry for that… and I’m sorry for taking him… I won’t go on saying he was not yours and all that…and I don’t want you to be happy for me… you can hate his guts… that’s okay… and if we ever get married you can ruin our wedding… All I ask of you is to take me back… the way I am… with my good and really awful parts…and I know my words are not enough right now, but I can still promise you it will be worth it… and the voices in your head, tell them I’m just fucked up… that doesn’t mean I don’t love you… I do… and I miss everything about you… what we have now is good enough, for now… if you can agree that we have something… I mean at least we talk it over somehow xD… I love the time we spend together and nothing compares to you… and I want to give it another chance even though it might take you a while to put your trust in me again… we can work through the tears together… what difference does it make if I cry here and you cry over there? I want to try to be your best friend again… ^_^ ??? You're still fucking perfect to me <3