When I started University in October it was awful. The first day I went there I was so scared that I cried on the way. When I got there I was still bursting into tears but I managed to hold them in, still I think my eyes were red. Anyway, nothing here was how I expected it to be: the city is noisy and tiring (not fun like I imagined), the university is difficult and annoying (not plesant and cool like I thought), the hostel is boring (not welcoming like it should be) and it's so stressful that I don't have any intimacy. The first weeks were horrible: I was grumpy all the time, I would cry every now and then and I even thought to myself that I am not able to get used to it and I might have to quit. However, people had an important role in making me get used to everything. First of all my boyfriend was always there for me and that helped me a lot because I didn't have to stay in the hostel all the time and he made me see the good parts in this awful situation. Secondly, I am grateful for the few friends I made at the university because they made me feel like I belong there and when they are there it's not so bad anymore. And last, but not least, I'm pretty proud of myself... I fell so fast and so hard (I started to hate everything all of a sudden, I made a really big deal out of this change and I didn't want to accept it, I gain weight again and started to hate myself, I stopped carying so much about how I look and how people see me) but at some point I looked back at myself and I started to miss who I used to be... and I'm proud that I realized that... Now I'm getting up again, I'm creating a stronger and better me who will be okay in the end and that really motivates me to struggle. I started to accept all of this shit and get used to it and started to see the good parts (like, hey, no parents to bother me :D)... And I wrote this here to tell you that no matter how awful something seems to you, it's like that just because you see it like that... Looking back it's not a big deal to move to another city and go to a crappy university and even thought it's not what you expected it to be, it's gonna be okay in the end if you believe. Of course, the road to that happy ending is full of shit, but you have to go through it in order to find your way back home...
    Ehh... but no matter how optimistic the end might seem I will always miss high school and I still think that it was the best period of my life... still I'm kind of pissed at two of my friends because now they have no time for me anymore, but I'm glad I still have my best friend and I hope I always will...