I shouldn't be posting this here, but I will. You can judge me and make fun of me; I don't really care that much anymore. Here is the story of my life. When I was little I was an adorable little angel...as I grew a bit older I started to become a sort of adorable kind of big pumpkin... I was a really fat kid. And that really affected me, the way I saw things and the way I treated people. I always tried to be nice to everyone and help everyone so that they wouldn't push me away for being fat. Everyone used me because I would do anything for some attention. I would make homework for the whole class and share my food and everything I had. I had a few close friends and even they were using me and making fun of me when I wasn't around.
     As I started to understand things I fell in love with a boy from my class. All he ever did was make fun of me but I found that really cute since he was one of the few boys who ever talked to me. He had a fat girlfriend once and that made me feel like I could have a chance, like maybe he could try to love me. When I got a bit older I went on a summer camp with some girls who didn't even talk to me in school, but I thought we could try to be friends. On that camp I met another boy who was also making fun of me and I really liked him. When I got back I thought to myself that I could change something, that I could become better and when I was going to look amazing, he was going to want to be mine and I would turn him down. Anyway I went back to school and saw that boy again (the one I liked before camp) and I was even more motivated to change.
     When I was in the 7th grade I was on a diet for about half a year I think. I tried so hard not to eat much and to stay away from things with many calories. It wasn't really hard because my parents were on my side and they did their best for me to stay on diet. They would always buy fruits and vegetables and make me diet food. I also worked out a lot. When I started the 8th grade I was almost slim and I was feeling alright with myself. After half a year my dad decided to buy me contact lenses after a class mate came to school with blue eyes. I had visual problems and I used to wear glasses so I was really happy to hear that I could get rid of them. The first days were the worst. I put them on and it was okay but it was really hard to take them off. It took me a lot of time to get used to them but I kept thinking about how I would look if I wore them so I managed to wear them everyday. After some time I started working out again and I got really slim and comfortable with myself.
    Being an ugly kid made me try to have a nice personality, but in fact all I did was let others step over me. It took me a long time to realize that I was supposed to care about myself too. When I started to feel good in my skin I started to hate others so my first relationships didn't really go that well. I would always find something wrong about the boys I dated and that made me push them away. I could say I hurt a few people while I was too busy trying to figure myself out. I am really sorry about that. The next relationships went pretty well but I couldn't stick around for too long because I just got sick of every boy. I tried to fall in love so many times but it seemed like it would never work. My longest relationship ended up with me hurting the other really, really bad and I want to mention that I am really, really sorry for all the pain I caused him.

     Right now I am happy with who I am. I love my life. I am happy with the way I look and the way I see things. I could say I am a bit of a narcissist. It took me too long to realize that life doesn’t keep any big change around the corner for you, so if you want to change something you have to work a lot. I wrote this here to let you know that the power is in your own hands. You can do anything you want to, but only if you really want to. If you really want something, really bad, you can make it with a bit of motivation and a bit of effort. A great friend once told me that life is whatever we make it. He was right :)